Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
