I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
