great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
