The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
