So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
