if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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