Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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