I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
