maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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