chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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