so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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