I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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