she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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