i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Barsexuality is the new black.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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