i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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