I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
