shes about as inviting as chlamydia
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize