Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
