respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Welp...herpes.
it's like iHOP with fire
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
