He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
