he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
