I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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