Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
