It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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