Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
