he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
