Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
