This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
