okay pat passed out under dana's car
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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