would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
