He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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