NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Randomize
