I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
