but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
