She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
