I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
