I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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