weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Randomize
