i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
