Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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