Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
