we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
