considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
And then my night got REAL pukey
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
