Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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