i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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