When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
how does that bad decision feel?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
