he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
