There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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