help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
