she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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