I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
