Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
