We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Your penis caused this!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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