i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
