I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
