i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize