I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
