we made out on top of his cat.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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