Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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