You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
