How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize